1
00:00:07,928 --> 00:00:09,509
"MELISSA & JOEY" IS RECORDED IN
FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.

2
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:12,011
HERE, HOLD MY EGG ROLLS.
AND DON'T EAT ANY.

3
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,012
I KNOW HOW MANY ARE IN THERE.

4
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,055
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT
I JUST REALIZED?

5
00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:16,096
TONIGHT IS OUR FIRST DATE,

6
00:00:16,097 --> 00:00:18,938
NOW THAT YOU AND I ARE
OFFICIALLY A UNIT.

7
00:00:18,939 --> 00:00:21,401
SO, FU'S PALACE ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT
CHINESE BUFFET

8
00:00:21,402 --> 00:00:23,063
WAS OUR FIRST OFFICIAL DATE?

9
00:00:23,064 --> 00:00:24,234
I DIDN'T THINK THAT THROUGH

10
00:00:24,235 --> 00:00:26,236
WHEN I CUT OUT THE COUPON.

11
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HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT'S REALLY
GREAT ABOUT TONIGHT?

12
00:00:28,069 --> 00:00:29,319
IS THAT THERE'S GONNA
BE NO AWKWARDNESS

13
00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:30,860
WONDERING HOW THIS
NIGHT'S GONNA END.

14
00:00:30,861 --> 00:00:32,031
YOU KNOW, WILL THEY? WON'T THEY?

15
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:34,204
'CAUSE WE KNOW.

16
00:00:34,205 --> 00:00:36,286
WELL, YOU KNOW, JOE,
A LITTLE WONDERING

17
00:00:36,287 --> 00:00:38,418
ISN'T ALWAYS A BAD THING
IN A NEW RELATIONSHIP.

18
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OF COURSE NOT. HURRY UP,
FIND THE KEYS, ALL RIGHT.

19
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YOU KNOW, I THINK THIS WENT
PRETTY WELL FOR A FIRST DATE.

20
00:00:45,126 --> 00:00:46,837
ME TOO.

21
00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:54,804
WELL, GOOD NIGHT, CALL ME.

22
00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:57,097
( door locks )

23
00:00:57,098 --> 00:00:59,229
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

24
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HEY, MEL.

25
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( doorknob rattles )

26
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MEL!

27
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I'M SO EATING THESE EGG ROLLS.

28
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( theme music plays )

29
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- ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪
- ♪ All good ♪

30
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- ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪
- ♪ Okay ♪

31
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- ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪
- ♪ All right ♪

32
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♪ AS FAR AS I CAN SEE ♪

33
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- ♪ IT'S ALL GOOD ♪
- ♪ All good ♪

34
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- ♪ IT'S OKAY ♪
- ♪ Okay ♪

35
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- ♪ IT'S ALL RIGHT ♪
- ♪ All right ♪

36
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♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪

37
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♪ WITH ME ♪

38
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THAT WAS VERY FUNNY. LOVE IT.

39
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LEAVE ME OUT THERE ON THE PORCH.

40
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GOT TO TELL YOU, THOUGH...
MY FAVORITE PART WAS WHEN

41
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YOU PUT THE DEADBOLT ON AND
THEN SLID THE CHAIN ACROSS.

42
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- FUNNY.
- WELL, I WANTED TO MAKE SURE

43
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YOU GOT THE MESSAGE.
CLEARLY, YOU DIDN'T.

44
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BUT, MEL, YOU KNOW,
WE'RE TOGETHER NOW.

45
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DON'T YOU REMEMBER
WHAT HAPPENED IN...

46
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JERSEY?

47
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I DO, AND IT WAS VERY NICE.

48
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YES, AND THEN WE GOT HOME

49
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AND THEN RYDER HAD
HIS APPENDECTOMY.

50
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THEN YOU CAME TO THE HOSPITAL AND
TOLD ME HOW MUCH YOU LOVED ME.

51
00:01:54,825 --> 00:01:56,946
AND I THOUGHT THAT MEANT
WE'D BE GETTING BACK

52
00:01:56,947 --> 00:01:58,908
TO DOING A LOT MORE OF THAT...

53
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JERSEY STUFF.

54
00:02:01,792 --> 00:02:03,743
LOOK, JOE, I'VE BEEN THINKING.

55
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OH, GEEZ, IT'S NEVER GOOD

56
00:02:05,546 --> 00:02:07,797
WHEN A GIRL STARTS TO
THINK AFTER A DATE.

57
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OH, IT'S JUST YOU
AND ME, YOU KNOW?

58
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I DON'T WANT TO RUSH INTO THIS.

59
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RUSH INTO IT?! WE'VE
BEEN LIVING TOGETHER

60
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FOR THREE YEARS.

61
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YEAH, BUT WE'VE BEEN
EMPLOYER AND EMPLOYEE.

62
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NOW WE'RE TWO INDEPENDENT PEOPLE

63
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HOPING TO BE A COUPLE.

64
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BUT WE SKIPPED OVER
ALL THAT STUFF

65
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YOU USUALLY DO WHEN YOU
FIRST START DATING.

66
00:02:22,973 --> 00:02:26,396
YOU KNOW, LIKE FLOWERS,
AND CANDY, AND, UH...

67
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I DON'T KNOW, A LITTLE MYSTERY.

68
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I'M EXPERIENCING A LOT OF
MYSTERY RIGHT ABOUT NOW.

69
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WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU
WANT ME TO DO?

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I WANT YOU TO, YOU
KNOW, COURT ME.

71
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- COURT YOU?
- YEAH, WOO ME.

72
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ROMANCE ME. WIN ME.

73
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WITH FLOWERS AND CANDY
AND THE WHOLE SHEBANG?

74
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NO, JUST FLOWERS AND CANDY.

75
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RIGHT NOW I WANT TO
POSTPONE ANY SHEBANGING.

76
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SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

77
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SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF WORK.

78
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WELL, I HAPPEN TO
THINK I'M WORTH IT.

79
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AND ANY GUY I'M SERIOUS ABOUT

80
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SHOULD THINK I'M WORTH IT TOO.

81
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LOOK, I THINK YOU'RE
100% WORTH IT.

82
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YOU KNOW, BUT I GOT TO TELL
YOU, I'M NOT REALLY THRILLED

83
00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:02,852
ABOUT THE NO-SEX PART.

84
00:03:02,853 --> 00:03:04,183
WE'LL GET TO THAT EVENTUALLY,

85
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BUT I WANT OUR RELATIONSHIP
TO TAKE THE SCENIC ROUTE,

86
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NOT THE BULLET TRAIN.

87
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PROMISE ME YOU'LL
THINK ABOUT IT?

88
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YEAH YEAH, I'M GONNA
THINK ABOUT IT.

89
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WHAT ELSE AM I GONNA DO TONIGHT?

90
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( swords clang )

91
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YES! I'VE BEHEADED YOU

92
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FIVE TIMES IN A ROW.

93
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WATCHING YOUR HEAD
BOUNCE DOWN A HILL

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WITH SQUISHY SOUNDS
NEVER GETS OLD.

95
00:03:33,884 --> 00:03:36,175
- YOU WANT TO LOSE AGAIN, LOSER?
- NOPE.

96
00:03:36,176 --> 00:03:38,298
BUT, YOU KNOW, WHEN THE DOCTORS
SLICED UP MY APPENDIX,

97
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THEY DIDN'T RUB IT IN MY FACE.

98
00:03:40,681 --> 00:03:42,972
HEY, LOOK, MORE OF
AUNT MEL'S DOODLES.

99
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UH, "M. B. AND J. L." WITH
A BIG HEART AROUND IT.

100
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AWW, IT'S KIND OF CUTE.

101
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IT'S KIND OF GROSS.

102
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AREN'T YOU HAPPY FOR THEM?

103
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ABSOLUTELY. IT'S NOT GONNA LAST.

104
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

105
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MEL AND JOE ARE IN LOVE.

106
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THEIR SOULS ARE
ENTWINED FOREVER.

107
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YEAH, YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING
WAY TOO MUCH "TWILIGHT."

108
00:04:01,862 --> 00:04:03,283
ALL RIGHT, GET UP, LITTLE MAN.

109
00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:04,534
IT'S TIME TO DIE AGAIN.

110
00:04:04,535 --> 00:04:05,915
( sighs )

111
00:04:05,916 --> 00:04:07,206
ALL RIGHT, LOOK,
ALL I'M SAYING...

112
00:04:07,207 --> 00:04:08,868
MEL AND JOE TOGETHER,
I MEAN, IT'S...

113
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IT'S LIKE PUTTING TWO
FIGHTING FISH IN A BOWL.

114
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IT'S FUN TO WATCH,
BUT EVENTUALLY

115
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YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO FLUSH
THEM DOWN THE TOILET.

116
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( cellphone beeps )

117
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UGH!

118
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CRUDDY, ZANDER JUST TEXTED
THAT HE WANTS TO SEE ME.

119
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THIS TOTALLY GOES AGAINST
THE RULES OF THE PAUSE.

120
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YOU KNOW, WE AGREED
NOT TO SEE EACH OTHER

121
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UNTIL WE FIGURE OUT
WHAT WE WANT TO DO.

122
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YOU KNOW, I STILL DON'T GET IT.

123
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WHY DON'T YOU JUST
SAVE A LOT OF TIME

124
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AND BREAK UP WITH
THE POOR BASTARD?

125
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I CAN'T DO THAT.

126
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WE STILL HAVE FEELINGS
FOR EACH OTHER.

127
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SO STAY TOGETHER.

128
00:04:35,946 --> 00:04:38,197
I CAN'T DO THAT EITHER.

129
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YOU KNOW, IN TWO WEEKS, HE'S
GOING TO VERMONT FOR ART SCHOOL

130
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AND I'M STAYING HERE AT
UNIVERSITY OF TOLEDO.

131
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HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO
HAVE A RELATIONSHIP?

132
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ISN'T THAT WHAT SEXTING IS FOR?

133
00:04:46,827 --> 00:04:49,118
WELL, YOU'LL NEVER FIND
OUT BECAUSE NOW...

134
00:04:49,119 --> 00:04:50,460
( avatar grunts )

135
00:04:50,461 --> 00:04:52,962
YOU DON'T HAVE ANY
SEXTING EQUIPMENT.

136
00:04:52,963 --> 00:04:55,836
WHAT... WHAT BUTTON DO
PUSH TO RE-ATTACH THAT?

137
00:05:01,632 --> 00:05:04,183
HOWDY, MA'AM.

138
00:05:04,184 --> 00:05:07,266
I HOPE YOUR PA DON'T MIND
THAT I COME A-COURTIN'.

139
00:05:07,267 --> 00:05:10,520
I BRUNG POSIES.

140
00:05:10,521 --> 00:05:13,853
WELL, I HOPE THIS MEANS
WHAT I THINK IT MEANS.

141
00:05:13,854 --> 00:05:15,194
YES YES, LOOK,

142
00:05:15,195 --> 00:05:16,315
I'VE BEEN GIVING YOUR
WHOLE COURTSHIP PLAN

143
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,487
A LOT OF THOUGHT, ALL RIGHT.

144
00:05:17,488 --> 00:05:19,028
NOW I HAVE TO TELL
YOU, MY FIRST REACTION

145
00:05:19,029 --> 00:05:21,110
WAS CALMED BY A
VERY COLD SHOWER.

146
00:05:21,111 --> 00:05:23,943
BUT THEN, I GOT TO
THINKING, ALL RIGHT?

147
00:05:23,944 --> 00:05:25,825
YOU AND ME TAKING IT
SLOW, TREATING THIS LIKE

148
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A GOOD OLD-FASHIONED ROMANCE...
IT'S ACTUALLY A VERY GOOD IDEA.

149
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:30,830
- WELL, THANK YOU.
- THAT I JUST HAD TO IMPROVE A LITTLE BIT.

150
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,331
- IMPROVE?
- RYDER!

151
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,833
LENNOX, GET IN HERE. I
HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT.

152
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,005
YOU SEE, MEL, I CAN'T COURT
YOU AND WIN YOU PROPERLY

153
00:05:36,006 --> 00:05:37,507
WHILE STILL LIVING
UNDER THE SAME ROOF.

154
00:05:37,508 --> 00:05:39,048
WHAT? SURE YOU CAN.

155
00:05:39,049 --> 00:05:41,461
NO, COME ON, I CAN'T BE LIVING
ON MY GIRLFRIEND'S PAYROLL.

156
00:05:41,462 --> 00:05:42,802
YOU KNOW? GUYS!

157
00:05:42,803 --> 00:05:44,303
ALL RIGHT, READY?

158
00:05:44,304 --> 00:05:45,635
HERE IS THE NEWS.

159
00:05:45,636 --> 00:05:47,226
I WAS DOWN AT ALDO'S TODAY
DOING A LITTLE SHOPPING.

160
00:05:47,227 --> 00:05:48,928
BY THE WAY, I CHALLENGE
ANYONE IN THIS KITCHEN

161
00:05:48,929 --> 00:05:50,850
TO FIND ME A BETTER
SALAMI IN ALL OF TOLEDO.

162
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,351
AND ALDO COMES UP TO ME AND SAYS

163
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,733
THEY'RE LOOKING FOR A NEW BUYER

164
00:05:53,734 --> 00:05:55,064
FOR THEIR GOURMET ITALIAN FOODS.

165
00:05:55,065 --> 00:05:56,856
YOU'RE AN EXPERT IN
GOURMET ITALIAN FOODS.

166
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:59,029
DON'T GET AHEAD OF ME.
DON'T GET AHEAD OF ME.

167
00:06:00,030 --> 00:06:02,111
ANYWAY, THEY MIGHT AS WELL
JUST WRITTEN THE WANT AD:

168
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:04,153
"JOE LONGO, GET YOUR
GLUTES IN HERE."

169
00:06:04,154 --> 00:06:07,076
'CAUSE ALDO HIRED ME

170
00:06:07,077 --> 00:06:10,249
AS THE NEW MANAGER OF WINE
AND IMPORTS ON THE SPOT.

171
00:06:10,250 --> 00:06:12,662
HUH? BOTTO!

172
00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:14,333
Lennox: WOW, GOOD FOR YOU, JOE.

173
00:06:14,334 --> 00:06:15,835
- YEAH, CONGRATULATIONS.
- THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

174
00:06:15,836 --> 00:06:18,257
OH, AND GUESS WHO'S GOING
APARTMENT HUNTING TODAY AT 5:00.

175
00:06:18,258 --> 00:06:21,921
I'M HOPING A GAY COUPLE
ON SOME REALITY SHOW.

176
00:06:21,922 --> 00:06:23,844
I BET IT'S NOT. I BET IT'S JOE.

177
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,887
THE KID'S KEEPING UP.
YOU'RE KEEPING UP, HUH.

178
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,600
SO PREPARE TO BE
WON, FAIR MAIDEN.

179
00:06:30,601 --> 00:06:33,433
I HOPE YOU'RE READY, ALL
RIGHT, 'CAUSE, UH...

180
00:06:33,434 --> 00:06:35,315
I'M ABOUT TO COURT
THE PANTS OFF YOU.

181
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:38,778
IF YOU GUYS NEED ANY
MORE MYSTERIES SOLVED

182
00:06:38,779 --> 00:06:39,939
I WILL BE UP IN MY ROOM,

183
00:06:39,940 --> 00:06:42,782
BUT, UM, PLEASE KNOCK FIRST.

184
00:06:42,783 --> 00:06:44,784
UH, JOE,

185
00:06:44,785 --> 00:06:46,946
YOU KNOW, A NEW
APARTMENT, A NEW JOB...

186
00:06:46,947 --> 00:06:49,028
ISN'T THIS A LOT OF CHANGE
SUDDENLY HAPPENING ALL AT ONCE?

187
00:06:49,029 --> 00:06:51,120
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN
MEL BURKE COMES UP WITH AN IDEA

188
00:06:51,121 --> 00:06:53,082
AND JOE LONGO MAKES IT
A LITTLE BIT BETTER.

189
00:06:53,083 --> 00:06:55,164
YEAH, WE ARE QUITE A TEAM.

190
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:56,375
( cellphone rings )

191
00:06:56,376 --> 00:06:58,798
OH, THIS IS ACTUALLY
ONE OF THE APARTMENTS

192
00:06:58,799 --> 00:06:59,799
THAT I CALLED ABOUT EARLIER.

193
00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:01,501
THIS IS A REALLY GOOD ONE.

194
00:07:01,502 --> 00:07:04,595
( female voice ) GOOD AFTERNOON.
JOE LONGO'S OFFICE.

195
00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:09,720
ABSOLUTELY, LET ME JUST SEE IF
HE'S AVAILABLE. PLEASE HOLD.

196
00:07:12,052 --> 00:07:13,813
WHAT THE HELL IS HE THINKING?

197
00:07:13,814 --> 00:07:16,225
I KNOW, THAT ACCENT IS HORRIBLE.

198
00:07:16,226 --> 00:07:19,819
NO, I MEAN, I ONLY WANTED
JOE TO COURT ME, YOU KNOW?

199
00:07:19,820 --> 00:07:21,981
I WANTED TO PROVE TO HIM I
WASN'T GONNA SLEEP WITH HIM

200
00:07:21,982 --> 00:07:23,062
JUST BECAUSE HE BOUGHT
ME SOME CHINESE FOOD.

201
00:07:23,063 --> 00:07:24,774
I STOPPED DOING THAT
WITH GUYS BACK IN...

202
00:07:24,775 --> 00:07:26,617
I MEAN, I NEVER DID THAT.

203
00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:28,698
I DON'T WANT JOE TO MOVE OUT.

204
00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:29,869
I LIKE HAVING HIM HERE.

205
00:07:29,870 --> 00:07:31,531
BUT IT SEEMS LIKE
JOE'S DOING SOMETHING

206
00:07:31,532 --> 00:07:33,072
HE REALLY WANTS TO DO.

207
00:07:33,073 --> 00:07:34,834
DON'T YOU WANT TO BE A
SUPPORTIVE GIRLFRIEND?

208
00:07:34,835 --> 00:07:36,956
- OF COURSE NOT.
- AUNT MEL!

209
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,287
WHAT? I'M JUST BEING HONEST.

210
00:07:38,288 --> 00:07:40,079
IT'S NOT LIKE ANYBODY'S
FILMING THIS.

211
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,171
I'M SORRY, I...

212
00:07:42,172 --> 00:07:44,794
YOU KNOW, I'M JUST NOT
A BIG FAN OF CHANGE.

213
00:07:44,795 --> 00:07:46,506
YOU REMEMBER HOW UPSET I
GOT WHEN THEY "IMPROVED"

214
00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:48,638
MY MARGARITA MIX.

215
00:07:48,639 --> 00:07:51,390
BUT, YOU KNOW, COME ON,
CHANGE CAN BE GREAT.

216
00:07:51,391 --> 00:07:52,431
YOU KNOW, WHEN JOE MOVES OUT,

217
00:07:52,432 --> 00:07:53,683
YOU GUYS WILL SEE
EACH OTHER LESS.

218
00:07:53,684 --> 00:07:54,974
SO THE TIME THAT
YOU HAVE TOGETHER

219
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:58,648
WILL BE MORE MEANINGFUL
AND EXCITING.

220
00:07:58,649 --> 00:08:00,560
IT'S ACTUALLY KIND OF ROMANTIC.

221
00:08:00,561 --> 00:08:01,811
THAT'S TRUE.

222
00:08:01,812 --> 00:08:04,103
I GUESS HE'S TRYING.
I SHOULD TRY TOO.

223
00:08:04,104 --> 00:08:06,946
JUST... HIS IDEA'S JUST SO LAME.

224
00:08:06,947 --> 00:08:08,868
HEY, MEL, WANT TO
COME WITH ME TODAY

225
00:08:08,869 --> 00:08:09,949
TO LOOK AT SOME APARTMENTS?

226
00:08:09,950 --> 00:08:11,781
OH, JOE, I DON'T THINK I...

227
00:08:11,782 --> 00:08:16,495
WOULD BE A VERY SUPPORTIVE
GIRLFRIEND IF I DIDN'T.

228
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,539
THANKS, BABE. YOU'RE THE BEST.

229
00:08:21,672 --> 00:08:24,334
LENNOX, AM I STILL SMILING?
I CAN'T TELL.

230
00:08:31,221 --> 00:08:33,092
THAT IS A NICE BEDROOM.

231
00:08:33,093 --> 00:08:34,934
I CAN SEE DOING SOME
STUFF IN THERE.

232
00:08:34,935 --> 00:08:36,265
THIS IS...

233
00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:37,977
BY FAR THE BEST PLACE
WE'VE SEEN TODAY.

234
00:08:37,978 --> 00:08:39,438
WILL YOU KEEP YOUR
VOICE DOWN PLEASE?

235
00:08:39,439 --> 00:08:40,270
HE HEARS YOU TALKING LIKE THAT,

236
00:08:40,271 --> 00:08:41,691
HE'S GONNA START
JACKING UP THE PRICE.

237
00:08:41,692 --> 00:08:43,352
YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE INTERESTED,

238
00:08:43,353 --> 00:08:45,565
IT'LL BE FIRST, LAST, SECURITY...
2850.

239
00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:47,236
2850? WAIT A MINUTE.

240
00:08:47,237 --> 00:08:48,357
THAT'S MORE THAN YOU
SAID IT WAS ONLINE.

241
00:08:48,358 --> 00:08:49,739
WELL, THAT'S THE
BASEMENT APARTMENT.

242
00:08:49,740 --> 00:08:52,241
THAT WENT RIGHT AWAY TO THE
GOVERNMENT HOUSING PEOPLE.

243
00:08:52,242 --> 00:08:53,362
THIS IS ALL I GOT
AVAILABLE RIGHT NOW.

244
00:08:53,363 --> 00:08:55,705
IT IS TRENDY EAST TOLEDO, JOE.

245
00:08:55,706 --> 00:08:56,746
EVERYBODY WANTS TO LIVE HERE

246
00:08:56,747 --> 00:08:58,457
THANKS TO A CERTAIN
COUNCIL MEMBER

247
00:08:58,458 --> 00:09:00,660
WHO PRESSED FOR BETTER
PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION.

248
00:09:00,661 --> 00:09:03,713
NOT TO TOOT MY OWN HORN, BUT...
TOOT TOOT!

249
00:09:03,714 --> 00:09:07,426
SO, MY FRIEND, ARE WE HOME?

250
00:09:07,427 --> 00:09:08,798
I WANT TO, BUT I DON'T
THINK I CAN AFFORD IT.

251
00:09:08,799 --> 00:09:10,720
MAYBE IF YOU CAN KNOCK OFF
A COUPLE HUNDRED BUCKS.

252
00:09:10,721 --> 00:09:13,222
KEEP DREAMING. THIS IS EAST TOE.

253
00:09:13,223 --> 00:09:15,474
HEY, LOOK, TALK IT OVER, OKAY.

254
00:09:15,475 --> 00:09:17,136
TAKE THE APARTMENT, JOE.

255
00:09:17,137 --> 00:09:18,267
I WANT TO, BUT I
CAN'T AFFORD IT.

256
00:09:18,268 --> 00:09:19,639
- YOU CAN AFFORD IT.
- NO NO NO.

257
00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:21,350
I REALLY CAN'T. SEE, HE'S
CHARGING A CERTAIN PRICE.

258
00:09:21,351 --> 00:09:22,892
I DON'T HAVE THAT MUCH MONEY.

259
00:09:22,893 --> 00:09:24,854
THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW WHEN YOU
CAN'T AFFORD SOMETHING.

260
00:09:24,855 --> 00:09:26,315
I'LL CHIP IN PART OF THE RENT.

261
00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:27,897
NO NO NO. YOU CANNOT DO THAT.

262
00:09:27,898 --> 00:09:30,239
YES, I CAN. THIS PLACE IS GREAT.

263
00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:33,242
TAKE MY MONEY, SO YOU
CAN BE INDEPENDENT.

264
00:09:33,243 --> 00:09:35,244
I DON'T NEED YOUR
HANDOUTS, OKAY?

265
00:09:35,245 --> 00:09:36,495
IT'S NOT A HANDOUT. IT'S A GIFT

266
00:09:36,496 --> 00:09:39,158
FROM AN INCREDIBLY
SUPPORTIVE GIRLFRIEND.

267
00:09:39,159 --> 00:09:40,289
IT'S A SWEET DEAL...

268
00:09:40,290 --> 00:09:41,961
A HOT BLONDE PAYING
ALL YOUR BILLS.

269
00:09:41,962 --> 00:09:43,793
YOU'RE MY HERO.

270
00:09:43,794 --> 00:09:45,374
IT'S NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL.

271
00:09:45,375 --> 00:09:47,126
SURE IT'S NOT.

272
00:09:47,127 --> 00:09:49,759
YOU'RE LIVING THE
DREAM, MY FRIEND.

273
00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:52,051
I'M NOT TAKING HER MONEY.

274
00:09:52,052 --> 00:09:55,474
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I AM
GONNA TAKE THIS PLACE.

275
00:09:55,475 --> 00:09:56,595
YOU JUST SAID YOU
CAN'T AFFORD IT.

276
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,057
YEAH, WELL, GUESS WHAT.
I CAN AFFORD IT.

277
00:09:58,058 --> 00:09:59,428
YOU KNOW WHY? I'M
GONNA CALL ALDO

278
00:09:59,429 --> 00:10:00,720
AND TELL HIM I'M GONNA
TAKE SOME DOUBLE SHIFTS,

279
00:10:00,721 --> 00:10:03,312
MAYBE EVEN TRIPLE SHIFTS.
I MEAN, I LIKE COFFEE.

280
00:10:03,313 --> 00:10:05,024
WHEN WILL YOU SLEEP?

281
00:10:05,025 --> 00:10:06,025
WHEN I MOVE INTO MY NEW PLACE.

282
00:10:06,026 --> 00:10:06,987
THAT'S WHEN I'M GONNA SLEEP.

283
00:10:06,988 --> 00:10:08,067
ALL RIGHT, I'M TAKING IT.

284
00:10:08,068 --> 00:10:09,528
IT'S MINE. WHOO!

285
00:10:09,529 --> 00:10:11,570
I'M EXCITED. THIS IS MY PLACE.

286
00:10:11,571 --> 00:10:14,193
I GOT A GREAT NEW APARTMENT IN
A GOOD, SOLID NEIGHBORHOOD.

287
00:10:14,194 --> 00:10:16,405
OH MY GOD! THOSE KIDS ARE
STEALING MY HUBCAPS!

288
00:10:16,406 --> 00:10:18,407
HEY, IT'S A CLASSIC!

289
00:10:18,408 --> 00:10:20,159
APPARENTLY, HE DOESN'T
NEED YOU AT ALL.

290
00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:21,540
BUT ME, PERSONALLY,

291
00:10:21,541 --> 00:10:23,242
I GOT NO PROBLEM BEING
SPOILED BY A LADY.

292
00:10:23,243 --> 00:10:27,547
WELL, I WILL LET ALL MY SUGAR
MAMA FRIENDS KNOW RIGHT AWAY.

293
00:10:31,051 --> 00:10:33,342
IS IT THE PAINKILLERS I'M ON,

294
00:10:33,343 --> 00:10:35,755
OR ARE YOU ACTUALLY
PREPARING FOOD?

295
00:10:35,756 --> 00:10:37,757
I'M MAKING BREAKFAST FOR MY MAN.

296
00:10:37,758 --> 00:10:39,759
THANKS, AUNT MEL.

297
00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:41,350
NOT YOU. JOE.

298
00:10:41,351 --> 00:10:44,393
OH. YOU KNOW, I
JUST HAD SURGERY.

299
00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:46,265
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU CAN
HAVE THE PRACTICE OMELET.

300
00:10:46,266 --> 00:10:49,108
- IT'S IN THE SINK.
- DEAL.

301
00:10:49,109 --> 00:10:51,440
YOU KNOW, I FEEL LIKE I
HAVEN'T SEEN JOE IN DAYS.

302
00:10:51,441 --> 00:10:52,902
YEAH, THAT'S BECAUSE
YOU HAVEN'T.

303
00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:55,614
BUT THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE
WE'RE BEING SUPPORTIVE.

304
00:10:55,615 --> 00:10:58,237
JUST TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE
PRECIOUS TIME WE DO HAVE TOGETHER.

305
00:10:58,238 --> 00:11:00,079
THIS BLACK STUFF ON THE OMELET,

306
00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,081
THAT'S... THAT'S PEPPER, RIGHT?

307
00:11:02,082 --> 00:11:05,745
YEAH, LET'S GO WITH THAT.

308
00:11:05,746 --> 00:11:07,456
GOOD MORNING, GUYS. REMEMBER ME?

309
00:11:07,457 --> 00:11:08,838
I DIDN'T HEAR YOU
COME IN LAST NIGHT.

310
00:11:08,839 --> 00:11:10,750
MIDNIGHT, BABY. DOUBLE SHIFT.

311
00:11:10,751 --> 00:11:12,131
- ANOTHER ONE TONIGHT.
- WELL, THEN...

312
00:11:12,132 --> 00:11:13,883
SOMEBODY NEEDS A
HEARTY BREAKFAST

313
00:11:13,884 --> 00:11:15,425
MADE BY HIS GIRLFRIEND.

314
00:11:18,258 --> 00:11:19,388
I COOKED.

315
00:11:19,389 --> 00:11:21,470
THIS IS SO SWEET, MEL.

316
00:11:21,471 --> 00:11:23,352
- YEAH, SIT SIT.
- WOW.

317
00:11:23,353 --> 00:11:24,304
THIS IS OUR TIME TOGETHER.

318
00:11:24,305 --> 00:11:25,725
- OKAY.
- YOU KNOW, YOU AND ME.

319
00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:27,267
MEL AND JOE.

320
00:11:28,518 --> 00:11:30,649
THIS IS NICE.

321
00:11:30,650 --> 00:11:32,903
YEAH, THIS IS NICE.

322
00:11:36,026 --> 00:11:37,076
( cellphone beeps )

323
00:11:37,077 --> 00:11:39,869
AWESOME, WE GOT CRABS.

324
00:11:39,870 --> 00:11:41,280
WHAT?

325
00:11:41,281 --> 00:11:43,823
FISH MARKET JUST TEXTED ME.
THEY GOT THEIR CRABS IN.

326
00:11:43,824 --> 00:11:45,324
IF I LEAVE RIGHT NOW,
I CAN BEAT THE BUYER

327
00:11:45,325 --> 00:11:46,325
FOR ALFREDO'S GOURMET DOWN THERE

328
00:11:46,326 --> 00:11:47,326
AND SNAG ALL THE GOOD ONES.

329
00:11:47,327 --> 00:11:48,457
WELL, WHAT ABOUT YOUR EGGS?

330
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:49,458
OH, MY EGGS.

331
00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:51,130
YES, YOU WORKED
SO HARD ON THESE.

332
00:11:51,131 --> 00:11:53,172
OH MY GOODNESS.

333
00:11:53,173 --> 00:11:55,134
MMM, AMAZING.

334
00:11:55,135 --> 00:11:57,336
AMAZ... THERE'S A LOT
OF SHELLS IN THESE.

335
00:11:57,337 --> 00:11:58,258
( muffled speech )

336
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:02,141
I LOVE YOU, THOUGH, OKAY?

337
00:12:02,142 --> 00:12:03,512
I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT, ALL RIGHT?

338
00:12:03,513 --> 00:12:06,346
BUT PROBABLY NOT, OKAY? ( gags )

339
00:12:08,849 --> 00:12:12,352
OKAY, HONEY, WHAT'S NEW?

340
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,065
OH, UH, YOU PROBABLY
ALREADY KNOW THIS,

341
00:12:16,066 --> 00:12:17,696
BUT THE NEW MADDEN
JUST CAME OUT.

342
00:12:17,697 --> 00:12:20,199
AND IT HAS THIS NEW
HIT STICK FEATURE.

343
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,661
SO YOU CAN JUGGLE THE BALL
OUT OF THE RECEIVER'S HANDS

344
00:12:22,662 --> 00:12:23,863
AND FORCE A FUMBLE.

345
00:12:23,864 --> 00:12:26,745
IT ADDS A WHOLE NEW DIMENSION
TO THE DYNASTY MODE.

346
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,247
IT'S CRAZY.

347
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,919
UH-HUH.

348
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:33,173
WELL, THANKS, THAT...
THAT PERKED ME RIGHT UP.

349
00:12:37,968 --> 00:12:40,259
LENNOX, I HAD TO TELL
YOU THIS IN PERSON.

350
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:42,341
WE COULD BE SO GOOD TOGETHER.

351
00:12:42,342 --> 00:12:44,553
ZANDER, THIS CAN'T HAPPEN.

352
00:12:44,554 --> 00:12:46,435
WE CAN'T VIOLATE THE PAUSE.

353
00:12:46,436 --> 00:12:48,848
PAUSE? THIS ISN'T
ABOUT THE PAUSE.

354
00:12:48,849 --> 00:12:50,309
NO, THIS IS ABOUT CASSANDRA.

355
00:12:50,310 --> 00:12:51,440
I WAS GOING THROUGH
SOME OLD EMAILS

356
00:12:51,441 --> 00:12:52,521
AND I FOUND THOSE SHORT
STORIES YOU WROTE.

357
00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:53,602
THEY'RE FANTASTIC.

358
00:12:53,603 --> 00:12:55,524
OKAY, WAIT. YOU
VIOLATED THE PAUSE

359
00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:57,026
BECAUSE OF SOME OF
MY OLD FICTION,

360
00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:58,948
WHICH SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN THE
SENIOR PRIZE FOR ENGLISH.

361
00:12:58,949 --> 00:13:01,951
BUT, YOU KNOW, WHATEVER.
I'M OVER IT.

362
00:13:01,952 --> 00:13:05,074
BUT I HAD A REVELATION.
YOUR CHARACTER CASSANDRA

363
00:13:05,075 --> 00:13:06,785
WOULD MAKE A REALLY
GREAT WEB SERIES.

364
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,747
SHE'S DRY, SHE'S COOL.

365
00:13:08,748 --> 00:13:10,039
SHE DOESN'T MOVE
AROUND A WHOLE LOT,

366
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,832
SO SHE'S INCREDIBLY
EASY TO ANIMATE.

367
00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:16,125
WAIT, SO YOU DIDN'T COME
HERE TO UN-PAUSE US?

368
00:13:16,126 --> 00:13:18,337
NO, THIS IS ABOUT
A COLLABORATION.

369
00:13:18,338 --> 00:13:19,718
YOU WRITE. I DRAW.

370
00:13:19,719 --> 00:13:21,720
CHECK IT OUT. ( instrumental
music playing )

371
00:13:21,721 --> 00:13:23,382
LOOK AT HER.

372
00:13:23,383 --> 00:13:24,423
SHE'S CUTE, HUH?

373
00:13:24,424 --> 00:13:26,015
YOU DID ALL THAT?

374
00:13:26,016 --> 00:13:28,097
YEAH. OH, WAIT. WAIT
FOR THE EYE ROLL.

375
00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:29,098
( chimes sound )

376
00:13:29,099 --> 00:13:30,809
YEAH.

377
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,892
WOW, THAT'S PRETTY COOL.

378
00:13:32,893 --> 00:13:34,854
THERE'S NO REASON WE CAN'T
STILL WORK TOGETHER

379
00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:37,196
WHILE WE'RE ON PAUSE, RIGHT?

380
00:13:37,197 --> 00:13:38,197
NO.

381
00:13:38,198 --> 00:13:40,400
NO REASON AT ALL.

382
00:13:46,286 --> 00:13:48,407
AUNT MEL, WHY ARE YOU
EATING THE TORNADO FOOD?

383
00:13:48,408 --> 00:13:49,788
ISN'T THAT FOR EMERGENCIES?

384
00:13:49,789 --> 00:13:52,541
WELL, THIS IS A LOVE EMERGENCY.

385
00:13:52,542 --> 00:13:54,583
MY BOYFRIEND'S BEEN
MISSING FOR DAYS.

386
00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:57,166
AWW, THAT'S SO SAD.

387
00:13:57,167 --> 00:13:59,798
ANYWAY, CAN I TELL YOU
ABOUT MY STUFF NOW?

388
00:13:59,799 --> 00:14:02,131
- ZANDER CAME OVER TODAY.
- REALLY?

389
00:14:02,132 --> 00:14:04,263
SO HE VIOLATED THE PAUSE?

390
00:14:04,264 --> 00:14:05,594
WELL, NOT TECHNICALLY.

391
00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:07,346
HE WANTS US TO COLLABORATE.

392
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,388
HE WANTS TO ANIMATE MY
CASSANDRA SHORT STORIES.

393
00:14:09,389 --> 00:14:11,270
HMM, AND WHAT ARE
YOUR THOUGHTS ON THAT

394
00:14:11,271 --> 00:14:13,142
BEFORE I SAY MINE?

395
00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:15,524
WELL, CLEARLY ZANDER CAN'T
STAND NOT BEING WITH ME.

396
00:14:15,525 --> 00:14:17,236
BUT IF WE'RE WORKING
SIDE-BY-SIDE,

397
00:14:17,237 --> 00:14:19,478
THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
HE'S SMELLING MY HAIR

398
00:14:19,479 --> 00:14:21,820
AND TELLING ME I HAVE
THE FACE OF AN ANGEL.

399
00:14:21,821 --> 00:14:24,073
AND THEN HE'S BACK
TO WORSHIPPING ME.

400
00:14:24,074 --> 00:14:25,404
BEEN THERE.

401
00:14:25,405 --> 00:14:27,196
YOU KNOW, IT'S TRICKY
TO WORK WITH AN EX.

402
00:14:27,197 --> 00:14:28,827
YOU JUST HAVE TO
BE PROFESSIONAL,

403
00:14:28,828 --> 00:14:32,412
AND DON'T LEAD HIM ON, AND
MAYBE COVER UP A LITTLE.

404
00:14:34,454 --> 00:14:35,584
THIS IS GREAT.

405
00:14:35,585 --> 00:14:38,417
YOU HELP ME WITH ZANDER AND
I HELPED YOU WITH JOE.

406
00:14:38,418 --> 00:14:39,628
HA! ARE YOU KIDDING?

407
00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:41,000
YOUR ADVICE WAS TERRIBLE.

408
00:14:41,001 --> 00:14:43,672
I SAID BE SUPPORTIVE.

409
00:14:43,673 --> 00:14:45,965
YOU ALSO SAID THAT BEING
APART WOULD BE EXCITING,

410
00:14:45,966 --> 00:14:47,346
AND IT'S BEEN AWFUL.

411
00:14:47,347 --> 00:14:48,767
OKAY, EVER SINCE JOE
TOOK THAT DOUBLE SHIFT

412
00:14:48,768 --> 00:14:50,509
DOWN AT ALDO'S, I NEVER SEE HIM.

413
00:14:50,510 --> 00:14:52,311
I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN
DO THIS ANYMORE.

414
00:14:52,312 --> 00:14:53,812
AWW, WHAT A SHAME.

415
00:14:53,813 --> 00:14:55,644
YOU'RE ALMOST OUT OF
YOUR FAVORITE WINE.

416
00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:57,106
- NO, I'M NOT.
- NO, TRUST ME.

417
00:14:57,107 --> 00:14:58,567
- YOU'RE COMPLETELY OUT.
- WHAT?

418
00:14:58,568 --> 00:15:00,229
HEY, ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!

419
00:15:00,230 --> 00:15:01,521
THAT'S GOOD BOOZE.

420
00:15:03,363 --> 00:15:05,324
ALL GONE.

421
00:15:05,325 --> 00:15:07,947
THERE'S ONLY ONE PLACE YOU
CAN FIND THIS CHIANTI:

422
00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:11,160
A LITTLE SHOP CALLED
ALDO'S WHERE JOE WORKS.

423
00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:13,372
OH MY GOSH, YOU'RE RIGHT.

424
00:15:13,373 --> 00:15:14,623
AND YOU HAVE TO GO THERE, NOW.

425
00:15:14,624 --> 00:15:16,585
OKAY, NOW THAT'S GOOD ADVICE.

426
00:15:16,586 --> 00:15:18,877
OOH, THIS IS SO EXCITING.

427
00:15:18,878 --> 00:15:20,089
WE'RE PROBABLY GONNA
KISS, BUT THAT'S IT

428
00:15:20,090 --> 00:15:21,300
BECAUSE HE'S STILL COURTING ME.

429
00:15:21,301 --> 00:15:23,632
OOH! ♪ I'M GONNA
SEE MY BOYFRIEND ♪

430
00:15:23,633 --> 00:15:25,544
♪ I'M GONNA SEE MY BOYFRIEND ♪

431
00:15:25,545 --> 00:15:27,386
I LOVE YOU, AUNT MEL,

432
00:15:27,387 --> 00:15:28,387
BUT IF WE'D GONE TO
HIGH SCHOOL TOGETHER,

433
00:15:28,388 --> 00:15:30,639
I DON'T THINK WE
WOULD HAVE HUNG OUT.

434
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:33,393
THE WAY YOU WASTE
BOOZE, DEFINITELY NOT.

435
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:42,111
( knocking )

436
00:15:42,112 --> 00:15:43,522
- MEL?
- I KNOW YOU'RE CLOSED,

437
00:15:43,523 --> 00:15:45,484
- BUT IT'S AN EMERGENCY.
- ( lock clicks )

438
00:15:45,485 --> 00:15:46,986
WHAT HAPPENED?

439
00:15:46,987 --> 00:15:49,118
I'M OUT OF CHIANTI...

440
00:15:49,119 --> 00:15:50,740
AND YOU.

441
00:15:52,242 --> 00:15:53,532
- WOW.
- I MISS YOU.

442
00:15:53,533 --> 00:15:55,784
NOW I KNOW YOU WANT TO
BE AN INDEPENDENT MAN,

443
00:15:55,785 --> 00:15:58,377
BUT MEANWHILE, I'M AN
INDEPENDENT LONELY WOMAN.

444
00:15:58,378 --> 00:15:59,628
AND IT'S GONNA TAKE MORE
THAN A CUP OF NOODLES

445
00:15:59,629 --> 00:16:01,130
TO KEEP ME WARM.

446
00:16:01,131 --> 00:16:03,252
YEAH, WELL, IT'S GONNA TAKE
A LOT OF DOUBLE SHIFTS

447
00:16:03,253 --> 00:16:04,883
IF I WANT TO GET
INTO THAT APARTMENT.

448
00:16:04,884 --> 00:16:06,385
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I TOLD ALDO

449
00:16:06,386 --> 00:16:07,386
TOMORROW NIGHT I'M TAKING OFF

450
00:16:07,387 --> 00:16:09,218
SO I CAN TAKE YOU OUT
ON A PROPER DATE.

451
00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:11,550
I DON'T KNOW IF I
CAN WAIT THAT LONG.

452
00:16:11,551 --> 00:16:13,352
GOSH, YOU'RE ALL HEATED UP, HUH?

453
00:16:13,353 --> 00:16:15,394
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE
PLAYGROUND IS CLOSED

454
00:16:15,395 --> 00:16:16,226
WHILE WE'RE TAKING IT SLOW?

455
00:16:16,227 --> 00:16:18,437
WELL, THE SLIDE IS OFF-LIMITS,

456
00:16:18,438 --> 00:16:20,189
BUT YOU CAN GO NUTS
ON THE SWINGS.

457
00:16:20,190 --> 00:16:21,480
( chuckles )

458
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,273
I'M NOT SURE I GET THAT.

459
00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:27,156
YOU CAN STEAL THIRD, BUT
I'M NOT WAIVING YOU HOME.

460
00:16:27,157 --> 00:16:28,317
AH, OKAY.

461
00:16:28,318 --> 00:16:29,408
YOU KNOW WHAT? MEL MEL MEL.

462
00:16:29,409 --> 00:16:30,659
I WANT TO. I REALLY DO.

463
00:16:30,660 --> 00:16:32,241
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
I PROMISED ALDO

464
00:16:32,242 --> 00:16:33,662
I WOULD GET ALL THE
INVENTORY DONE TONIGHT.

465
00:16:33,663 --> 00:16:34,783
SO, TELL YOU WHAT,

466
00:16:34,784 --> 00:16:36,375
WAIT UP FOR ME. I
WILL BE HOME IN

467
00:16:36,376 --> 00:16:37,876
TWO HOURS, TOPS.

468
00:16:37,877 --> 00:16:39,578
DOESN'T INVENTORY
TAKE ALL NIGHT?

469
00:16:39,579 --> 00:16:42,000
WELL, I'M A HIGHLY
MOTIVATED MAN.

470
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,333
- HMM.
- OKAY?

471
00:16:44,544 --> 00:16:46,255
OH, I... MEL.

472
00:16:46,256 --> 00:16:47,386
I REALLY GOT TO... OKAY.

473
00:16:47,387 --> 00:16:49,008
ALL RIGHT.

474
00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:57,096
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!

475
00:16:57,097 --> 00:16:58,637
OH, ALDO!

476
00:16:58,638 --> 00:17:01,019
ARE YOU HAVING SEX ON
MY SANDWICH BOARD?!

477
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,192
OH, NO NO NO. JUST SOME
OVER-THE-BLOUSE STUFF.

478
00:17:03,193 --> 00:17:05,564
YOU KNOW, HE'S
STILL COURTING ME.

479
00:17:05,565 --> 00:17:07,406
THIS IS WHY YOU WANTED
ALL THE DOUBLE SHIFTS,

480
00:17:07,407 --> 00:17:10,319
TO USE MY SHOP FOR SOME
FILTHY SECRET CHEATING?!

481
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:11,780
NO NO NO NO. I'M NOT CHEATING.

482
00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:13,152
SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND.

483
00:17:13,153 --> 00:17:14,703
AWW, THAT'S THE FIRST
TIME YOU'VE INTRODUCED ME

484
00:17:14,704 --> 00:17:16,536
TO SOMEONE AS YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

485
00:17:17,657 --> 00:17:19,248
- YOU'RE FIRED.
- FIRED?!

486
00:17:19,249 --> 00:17:21,039
HEY, I GOT YOU CRABS.

487
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,331
OUT!

488
00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:24,543
AND TAKE THAT DEFILED
CACIOTTA WITH YOU.

489
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:27,376
WHAT DID HE CALL ME?!

490
00:17:27,377 --> 00:17:29,219
HE WAS TALKING ABOUT THE CHEESE.

491
00:17:34,844 --> 00:17:37,176
OH, AND THEN CASSANDRA
TELLS ETHAN

492
00:17:37,177 --> 00:17:39,768
SHE KNOWS HE DIDN'T
READ SCHOPENHAUER.

493
00:17:39,769 --> 00:17:41,560
I CAN ANIMATE A PHOTO
OF SCHOPENHAUER

494
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,272
MONTY PYTHON-STYLE.

495
00:17:43,273 --> 00:17:44,853
GENIUS. OH, OH!

496
00:17:44,854 --> 00:17:46,945
WE COULD MAKE THAT A RECURRING
LEITMOTIF IN THE SERIES.

497
00:17:46,946 --> 00:17:49,067
YOU KNOW, CASSANDRA
INTERACTS WITH HISTORIC

498
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,359
AND LITERARY FIGURES.

499
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:51,241
CHARACTERS FROM
NOVELS AND PLAYS.

500
00:17:51,242 --> 00:17:53,071
AND TELLS THEM WHAT
THEY'RE DOING WRONG.

501
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,694
- THAT'S FANTASTIC.
- OH, YOU'RE THE BEST.

502
00:17:59,539 --> 00:18:00,829
OH, WHY'D YOU KISS ME?

503
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,122
I DON'T KNOW.

504
00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:06,415
A HIGH-FIVE SEEMED INSUFFICIENT?

505
00:18:06,416 --> 00:18:09,128
SO DOES THAT MEAN, UH,

506
00:18:09,129 --> 00:18:10,169
WE'RE NOT ON PAUSE ANYMORE?

507
00:18:10,170 --> 00:18:15,345
YEAH, I GUESS WE COULD
ALWAYS PAUSE THE PAUSE.

508
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,717
SO LIKE, HIT PLAY?

509
00:18:18,718 --> 00:18:20,520
AH, WHAT THE HELL?

510
00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:25,354
AUNT MEL, I HAVE
SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.

511
00:18:25,355 --> 00:18:27,356
ZANDER AND I ARE BACK ON.

512
00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:28,567
SORT OF.

513
00:18:28,568 --> 00:18:29,818
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

514
00:18:29,819 --> 00:18:31,109
AH, I DON'T KNOW!

515
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,231
I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

516
00:18:32,232 --> 00:18:33,612
WELL, HERE'S A PIECE OF ADVICE.

517
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:36,195
DON'T GO DOWN TO WHERE HE
WORKS AND GET HIM FIRED.

518
00:18:36,196 --> 00:18:38,157
WHAT DID YOU DO?

519
00:18:38,158 --> 00:18:39,739
( mocking Lennox ) I DON'T
WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

520
00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:44,744
UH, I'M NOT SURE
THAT'S SAFE TO EAT.

521
00:18:46,206 --> 00:18:48,507
ALDO CAUGHT US MAKING OUT.

522
00:18:48,508 --> 00:18:50,749
- ON THE CHEESE?
- ON THE CHEESE.

523
00:18:50,750 --> 00:18:53,051
OH!

524
00:18:53,052 --> 00:18:55,254
YEAH, AND NOW JOE'S GOT NO JOB

525
00:18:55,255 --> 00:18:56,595
AND NO MONEY FOR
A NEW APARTMENT.

526
00:18:56,596 --> 00:18:58,387
AND HE'S RUNNING AROUND THE
NEIGHBORHOOD RIGHT NOW,

527
00:18:58,388 --> 00:18:59,968
TRYING TO WORK OFF HIS ANGER.

528
00:18:59,969 --> 00:19:02,261
WELL, I KNOW THIS WASN'T
EXACTLY YOUR PLAN,

529
00:19:02,262 --> 00:19:03,432
BUT YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED.

530
00:19:03,433 --> 00:19:04,563
HE'S STUCK HERE NOW.

531
00:19:04,564 --> 00:19:06,645
HUH, THAT'S TRUE.

532
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,227
YEAH, YOU KNOW.

533
00:19:08,228 --> 00:19:09,768
HE CAN STAY HERE AS
LONG AS HE NEEDS TO.

534
00:19:09,769 --> 00:19:12,150
I CAN BE THERE TO PICK
HIM UP WHEN HE'S DOWN.

535
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,193
I CAN BE HIS
SUPPORTIVE GIRLFRIEND.

536
00:19:14,194 --> 00:19:17,196
LADIES, IT'S A GREAT
NIGHT, ISN'T IT?

537
00:19:17,197 --> 00:19:19,238
JOE, LOOK, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO HIDE IT, OKAY?

538
00:19:19,239 --> 00:19:20,279
I KNOW YOU'RE DEVASTATED.

539
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:22,371
ACTUALLY, MEL, I'VE
HAD A REALIZATION.

540
00:19:22,372 --> 00:19:25,083
YOU KNOW, BEING IN SOMEBODY'S
HOUSE, TAKING CARE OF A FAMILY,

541
00:19:25,084 --> 00:19:26,285
IT'S ACTUALLY VERY
SATISFYING WORK.

542
00:19:26,286 --> 00:19:28,457
AWW, THAT IS A GREAT
WAY TO LOOK AT THINGS.

543
00:19:28,458 --> 00:19:30,789
EW, YOU'RE SWEATY.

544
00:19:30,790 --> 00:19:32,341
OF COURSE I WANT TO BE BACK
IN THE BUSINESS WORLD.

545
00:19:32,342 --> 00:19:33,422
AND I WILL ONE DAY,
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

546
00:19:33,423 --> 00:19:35,594
FOR RIGHT NOW, I'M VERY
HAPPY SHAPING YOUNG MINDS

547
00:19:35,595 --> 00:19:36,755
AND MAKING A HOME RUN SMOOTHLY

548
00:19:36,756 --> 00:19:38,217
AND JUST DOING SOMETHING REAL.

549
00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:40,389
YEAH, AND YOU CAN DO THAT
HERE AS LONG AS YOU NEED TO.

550
00:19:40,390 --> 00:19:42,221
NO, UH-UH. NO.

551
00:19:42,222 --> 00:19:44,393
I JUST RAN INTO ZEV BUCHWALD
WHEN I WAS OUT ON MY RUN.

552
00:19:44,394 --> 00:19:46,265
HE WAS STANDING
IN HIS FRONT YARD

553
00:19:46,266 --> 00:19:47,726
WITH THEIR VERY COLICKY BABY.

554
00:19:47,727 --> 00:19:49,268
APPARENTLY, THEIR
NANNY JUST QUIT.

555
00:19:49,269 --> 00:19:50,859
SHE THREW IN THE DIAPER.

556
00:19:50,860 --> 00:19:53,522
ANYWAY, HE OFFERED ME
THE JOB ON THE SPOT.

557
00:19:53,523 --> 00:19:55,944
AND, YOU KNOW, SEEING THE
DESPERATION IN HIS EYES,

558
00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:57,776
I DID WHAT ANY GOOD
BUSINESS MAN WOULD DO.

559
00:19:57,777 --> 00:19:59,238
I GAUGED HIM.

560
00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:01,240
WAIT? WHAT NOW?

561
00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:02,201
YEAH, AND IT'S LIVE-IN.

562
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:03,822
SO NOW I GOT A JOB
AND A PLACE TO LIVE.

563
00:20:03,823 --> 00:20:06,375
OH, AND THEY'RE PROVIDING
ME WITH A COMPANY CAR.

564
00:20:06,376 --> 00:20:07,536
( chuckles )

565
00:20:07,537 --> 00:20:09,588
WELL, IT'S A MINIVAN,
BUT IT'S RED, SO...

566
00:20:09,589 --> 00:20:11,039
THAT'S COOL, HUH?

567
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,292
WELL, IF YOU'RE HAPPY, I...

568
00:20:13,293 --> 00:20:15,384
MUST BE HAPPY TOO.

569
00:20:15,385 --> 00:20:17,256
NOW THAT I'M AN INDEPENDENT MAN,

570
00:20:17,257 --> 00:20:19,217
OUR COURTSHIP CAN KICK
BACK INTO HIGH-GEAR.

571
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,509
( chuckles )

572
00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:21,720
BUT NOT TONIGHT BECAUSE
I HAVE TO GO UPSTAIRS,

573
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,302
PACK, AND MOVE OUT.

574
00:20:23,303 --> 00:20:25,223
NOW? IT'S ALMOST MIDNIGHT.

575
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,224
I KNOW. I'M ALREADY
ON THE CLOCK.

576
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:27,346
AFTER 9:00 P.M.,

577
00:20:27,347 --> 00:20:29,017
IT'S TIME AND A
HALF, BY THE WAY.

578
00:20:29,018 --> 00:20:30,269
YEAH, THE GUY'S SO
SLEEP-DEPRIVED,

579
00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:32,272
HE'S BEEN LIKE AGREEING
TO EVERYTHING.

580
00:20:34,153 --> 00:20:36,405
AWW, AUNT MEL.

581
00:20:36,406 --> 00:20:38,817
LOOK, I KNOW YOU'RE NOT
REAL HAPPY RIGHT NOW,

582
00:20:38,818 --> 00:20:40,359
BUT DOES IT HELP AT ALL THAT JOE

583
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:42,361
WOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE
TO TURN THINGS AROUND

584
00:20:42,362 --> 00:20:44,363
IF YOU HADN'T BEEN SUCH A
SUPPORTIVE GIRLFRIEND?

585
00:20:44,364 --> 00:20:46,366
NOT REALLY.

586
00:20:51,461 --> 00:20:54,753
( laughing )

587
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:57,175
UH, YOU OKAY, AUNT MEL?

588
00:20:57,176 --> 00:20:58,927
YEAH, JUST HAVING
A GLASS OF WINE

589
00:20:58,928 --> 00:21:00,550
WITH JOE LIKE WE ALWAYS DO.

590
00:21:02,091 --> 00:21:04,304
BUT...

591
00:21:05,144 --> 00:21:06,265
OKAY.

592
00:21:08,388 --> 00:21:09,728
To us.

593
00:21:09,729 --> 00:21:11,059
TO US.

594
00:21:11,060 --> 00:21:12,651
IT'S GREAT WE CAN STILL CATCH UP

595
00:21:12,652 --> 00:21:14,062
AT THE END OF THE DAY
OVER A GLASS OF WINE.

596
00:21:14,063 --> 00:21:16,985
Hey, did you hear that a
brand-new Madden just came out?

597
00:21:16,986 --> 00:21:19,027
What am I talking about? You don't
want to hear about that stuff.

598
00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:20,108
ARE YOU KIDDING? I HEARD THERE'S

599
00:21:20,109 --> 00:21:22,160
A NEW HIT STICK FEATURE. YOU
CAN ACTUALLY KNOCK THE BALL

600
00:21:22,161 --> 00:21:24,202
RIGHT OUT OF THE
RECEIVER'S HAND.

601
00:21:24,203 --> 00:21:25,614
I didn't know you like football.

602
00:21:25,615 --> 00:21:28,116
I have to tell you all about
my fantasy football draft.

603
00:21:28,117 --> 00:21:29,118
STOP STOP STOP. I WAS FAKING IT.